most likely to

at the end of my sixth form year
an informal vote by the popular kids
named me
Most Likely To Have 10 Kids To 10 Different Fathers By 30

next month I turn 29

I have no kids
I've never had an abortion
I've never been pregnant
I've never even wanted to be pregnant
(well, only once, when I was fucking
The Most Beautiful Man In The World,
but that was temporary insanity)

I hate to disappoint people
but I really don't think
I'm going to make it

Paula Harris

Published in The Listener
2002